[The Vine of Longings]
by Srila Rupa Goswami
1. Overcome with yearnings, and crying in the middle of Vrindavan forest, I shall now reveal the deep mark burning tears have made in my heart.
2. O Vrindavan forest, who among your devoted servants has not already attained the path of supreme transcendental bliss? I humbly beg you: please reveal in my heart the best way to attain my king and queen. Please be kind to me.
3. O Queen Vrinda, both sruti and smrti proclaim that Lord Murari eternally enjoys pastimes with His beloved in Your forest. Knowing this, I bow down before your feet. Please be merciful to me. Please make the tree of my desires bear fruit.
4. O virtuous Queen Vrinda, this person begs your permission to present his appeal before your king and queen, whose feet he has long yearned in his heart to attain. Please cast your merciful glance on me. Please be kind.
5. O king whose transcendental form is more splendid than the blossoming blue lotus flower, O queen whose splendid beauty has stolen the glory of gold ....
6. O king dressed in silk garments as splendid as lightning, O queen dressed in beautiful garments as splendid as musk ....
7. O king whose splendid sweetness surpasses Lord Narayana, O queen who fills both the goddess of fortune and the sweet, beautiful girls of Vraja with wonder ....
8. O king who is an expanding mountain of the jewels of eternal virtues unattainable by outsiders, O queen who possesses a treasure of transcendental virtues that stun with wonder the hearts of all virtuous girls ....
9. O king who is the regal sapphire crown of the peerless youths of Vraja, O queen who is the jasmine crown of the splendid girls of Gokula in this world ....
10. O king whose heart is an ocean where the makara fish of Sri Radha swims, O queen whose heart is a moon that contains the deer of Lord Krsna, O king whose mind is maddened by the fragrance of Your beloved, O queen whose senses are captured by the fragrance of your beloved ....
11. O king whose flute is very eager to sing the glories of Sri Radha, the deity of pure love, O queen whose tongue tastes the sweetness of chanting the glories of Lord Mukunda, the joy of the world ....
12. O king the sweetness of whose lotus eyes traps the swan of the heart of She who is the crown of Vrajas girls, O queen the net of whose sidelong glance expertly catches the regal fish of the prince of Vrajas heart ....
13. O king whose flute music is a cup for drinking the ocean of the eternal patience of the daughter of the gopa kings friend, O queen whose very graceful songs enchant the deer of the heart of He who enchants the entire world ....
14. O king who, when You hear the name Radhika, forgets all playful arts, O queen who, when You hear the two syllables Krs-na becomes stunned and motionless ....
15. O son of the king of the gopas, O daughter of the best man in Gokula, bowing down and placing folded hands above his head, this unfortunate person begs You for a certain gift.
16. O king and queen, the lakes of whose hearts are filled by the swiftly flowing nectar mountain streams of Your great mercy, please be kind to this wicked person. Please show him the lustre of the transcendental happiness that is the guarantee of being able to see You in the future.
17. O king dark with a splendid complexion, O queen dark with youthful beauty, O king golden with transcendental fame, O queen golden with a splendidly beautiful complexion, O king and queen who are the handsome crowns of everyone, please eternally display Your sweetness in my heart.
18. O son and daughter of the best of the gopas, I bow down before You and beg: Please give me service to You! Please give me service to You!
19. O prince of the gopas, I fall down before You and beg in a choked voice: Please make me an object of mercy for She who is the jasmine crown of the girls of Vraja!
20. O Queen of Kartikka, I fall down before You and beg with sweet words: May Lord Krsna, the killer of Baka, be as merciful to me as You.
21. O affectionate people who enjoy transcendental pastimes in this place and that with the son and daughter of the best of the gopas, please hear my choked words and be merciful to me.
22. O queen Lalita, the hero and heroine who enjoy transcendental pastimes in the cottage, forest and hill, are always obedient to you. Therefore nothing is difficult for you. Therefore please be kind and accept me.
23. O Visakha, you are the best of the lovers of the fair and dark Divine Couple. Please enable me to attain the merciful sidelong glance of your two dear friends.
24. O Subala, you are the intimate friend of the son and daughter of the best of the gopas of Vrindavana. Please be merciful and introduce this unhappy person to your two friends.
25. Please listen with compassion. O great lovers of the Lords of Life. A poor living entity appeals to you. How can this lowly-hearted person become even a sesame seed in comparison to you? This person asks: will he be able to attain the loving service of the Divine Couple?
26. Where is this fool? Where is that state even the great devotees cannot attain? Still, a new and intense thirst for it now makes me tremble.
27. O all-powerful Lord, when will Your sweet and glorious flute music, which possesses the greatest opulence of the kingdom of all beautiful sounds, and which is accompanied by Srimati Radharani's anklet tinkling, which eclipses the warbling of Brahmas swan, be joyfully worshipped by my two slow ears?
28. O queen of Vrindavana, when will the sound of Your lute, which silences the flute of the peacock-feather crowned Lord, become the guest of my ears?
29. O great king and queen, when will Your graceful music, flooded with waves of sweetness, purify my ears. When will that day come?
30. O charming king and queen whose fair and dark forms are splendidly decorated with musk and kunkuma, when will Your sweet fragrance, bearing only a fraction of Your transcendental glories, bring a festival of happiness to the black bee of my nose?
31. Placing his forefinger to his mouth, this person repeatedly cries out in the forest: O king and queen, please be merciful for a moment! Please be merciful! May Your forms, as splendid as a monsoon cloud and lightning, appear before my eyes.
32. O crowning garlands of the charming people of Vraja, this person begs something of You: may the moonlight of Your toenails, even for only a moment, fill my eyes with wonder.
33. May the splendour of You both, whose fair and golden forms, charmingly decorated with golden jasmine petals, joyfully embrace in the courtyard of the forest cottage, suddenly fill my eyes with wonder.
34. The most exalted devotee cannot attain in his heart even a small portion of Your glory. Yearning that You appear on the pathway of his eyes, this person has now swallowed his fear and shame.
35. O king and queen of Vrindavana, how sinful I am! Still, who will not become maddened by the sweetness of Your transcendental qualities?
36. O king and queen, when will Your playful and crooked lovers quarrels, when Your friends plaintively grasp Your heels, fill my ears with wonder?
37. When, O killer of Agha, Your flute stolen by Her, and Yourself, as You eagerly search and ask everywhere for it, cheated by the smiling gopis, will You delight my eyes?
38. When, O queen, as You bite Your flower petal lips, raise Your eyebrows, and crookedly smile from the corner of Your eyes while Krsna chats with Your friend Lalita, will the beauty of Your face delight me?
39. Will this lowly person ever be able to desire the treasure desired by great souls? O king and queen who remove all sufferings, great and small, all glories to the splendour of Your kindness!
40. O Lord Damodara, when, Your glittering, love-filled eyes restless with apprehension in the destined separation from the daughter of the gopa kings friend, and Yourself seen by the sari birds expert at understanding hints, will You delight my eyes?
41. When, in the beginning of the rasa dance seeing You leave the lotus-eyed girls of Vraja, be led by Your independent lover Kesava to a secluded place in Vrindavan forest, and be worshipped by Him, will I at once abandon all my pride?
42. When, handsome with curling locks of hair, its eyes closing with fatigue, decorated with the reddish colour of Queen Radha's yavaka cosmetic, and stared at with crooked eyes by Candravalis pale friends, will the splendour of Your face at dawn, O king of Vraja, make me happy and proud?
43. O queen, when will I see Your face at once crying and smiling, the vine of its eyebrows crookedly raised in scorn, and its eyes reddish, as Lord Hari, having won Your lips nectar in the water-splashing contest, grasps Your neck, eager to drink?
44. O prince of Vraja, when, Your flower garland stealthily stolen by Srimati Radharani, and the gopis, will I see You retaliate by coming before them, and with a secret smile, suddenly rip open the bodice covering the breasts of Bhanumati?
45. O prince of Vraja, when, surrounded by Srimati Radharani's friends in the spring festival, will I see You, on the signal of my queens smiling, glistening, and restless sidelong glance, suddenly kiss the mouth of Guna Manjari?
46. When, the two of You fatigued by enjoying many pastimes in the forest by the Yamunas shore and now resting in the charming cottage of madhavi vines, will this person untie Your hair and massage Your lotus feet?
47. O king and queen of the forest, when, Your amorous battle finished, will I make You a bed of soft and splendid flowers and a pillow of many flower buds in the forest filled with bees?
48. When, in the company of Your dear friends, with the bee-black water of the Yamuna brought in a golden vessel, will I wash Your lotus feet as You rest on the pastime bed?
49. When, the two of You repeatedly laughing and smiling as, eager for victory in the gambling match, You recline on the pastime bed in the forest, O king and queen, will I very gently massage Your lotus feet?
50. When, O king and queen of Vrindavana, the two of You with joyful hearts eager to begin the wild battle of amorous pastimes, and yearning to enjoy pastimes of drinking, will I bring You a goblet filled with sweet madhvika nectar?
51. When, O youthful couple of Vraja, Your eyes slightly open, and Your flower-petal bodies sprinkled with perspiration as You recline, conversing, on the pastime bed of flowers, will I serve You, making a breeze with the fan of vines?
52. When, O crusher of demons, on the order of my queen will I undo Your hair, remove its falling peacock feather and flowers, and tie it again with a lotus?
53. When, O lotus faced girl, will I decorate Your hair, like a peacocks tail fallen in Your pastimes to Your shoulders, with a garland of jasmine blossoms?
54. O king of Vraja, when will I, sent by the sidelong glance of She who defeated You in the fiercely contested dice game and who is the jewel in the decorated, braided hair of the girls of Vraja, bind and take the deer wagered in the dice game, as your friends look helplessly on?
55. Will the auspicious day arrive, when, O queen, with Your sidelong glance You will make me laugh at the proud Madhava defeated in the dice game?
56. O Lord, will the day come when, repeatedly worshipping me, You will beg from me a way to break the jealous anger of the daughter of the King of Vrajas friend?
57. O Damodara, when will You order this person: Carry to Sridamas sister this flower letter, which says, on Your order, as I heard it spoken by the sari bird, I am waiting here at Your pond. O friend, why are You late?
58. I have the wealth of My own good honour! I shall never see that rake again! Subalas friend has come here disguised as a woman! Surround Him at once! Hearing Your words, and in my heart understanding Your intentions, will we cleverly trap the best of the gopas?
59. O killer of Aghasura, Your favourite young bull is now violently attacked by a demon in the form of a bull in Vraja! O Mukunda, when, speaking this lie, will I lead You from Candravalis place to My queen in the forest?
60. When, O queen, removing you jewel belts and anklets and covering You splendid transcendental body with a cloak the colour of a swarm of black bees, will I lead You to a new meeting with Krsna in the dense darkness now swallowing the world?
61. When, O queen, will this dwarf, understanding your intentions, take the betelnuts the Lord happily placed in Your mouth and You affectionately spat on a leaf, and, bodily hairs erect with joy, taste them in a secret place?
62. When, O lovers who, because You rarely see each other, always long to meet, will I make You smile by pretending to complain, Mukunda! Why do You agitate Me with this dancing from the corner of Your eyes? Stop it! ?
63. O king and queen, when will I have the opportunity in the great forest to lovingly decorate You by drawing on Your foreheads elaborate pictures in fragrant colours?
64. The splendour of pure love, which makes the good fortune of Your direct service easy to obtain, is not mine, even in dream. Still, O king and queen, simply living in Your Vraja gives Me great hope.
65. In public places I glorify Your mercy, which is granted to even the lowest creatures, and which enables me, even though I am lowborn, to live in this forest of Vraja, the place where Your great devotees, filled with pure love, aspire to take birth, even as blades of grass.
66. O handsome, fragrant tamala desire tree blooming in Vrindavan forest and embraced by the madhavi vine of the goddess ruling this forest, O tree, the shade of whose glory protects the world from a host of burning sufferings, what wonderful fruits do people find at Your feet?
67. O Vrindavan desire vine, it is not at all surprising that the entire world is delighted by the flowing stream of the honey of Your pastimes, shining with the nectar showered by the black cloud of Krsna, by your all-pervading fragrance, and by Your great sweetness, and it is also not surprising that the vines on the ground, who have attained the dust of your feet, are now standing erect in ecstasy.
68. O prince and princess of the gopas, again and again I pray for this benediction: Birth after birth may I love Your lotus feet.
69. O king and queen who eternally enjoy transcendental pastimes, this vine of longing (utkalika-vallari) has sprouted up before you in Vrindavan forest. I tremble as I recite it. O king and queen, please hear this prayer and please fulfil my desires.
70. This vine of longings (utkalika-vallari) was written by me, a resident of Gokula, in the month of Pausa (December-January) in the Saka year Candrasva-bhuvana (1471 Saka or 1549 AD).
According to the Vaisnava researchers, this [Utkalika Vallari] is the last work of Sripada Rupa Gosvami, in which he sings his swansong. Just as the swan sings his most beautiful and pitiful song just before his death, so this Utkalika Vallari is Srila Rupa Gosvami’s final song of pity. His heart carries a turbulent eagerness that can only be cooled off when he receives the darsana of his most beloved deities Sri-Sri Yugala Kisora. On the one hand there is eager longing and on the other hand there is great humility that makes him very unsteady when it arises, because it makes him perceive his own lack of qualification. This causes him to weep incessantly. Weeping is the goal of life – relishing the sweetness of the beloved deity is the greatest means of attaining it.
If a person has no thirst he will not even relish the taste of an ocean of nectar, even if it is situated right in front of him! In the same way, the sweetness of Sri-Sri Radha-Madhava, who are an ocean of transcendental sweetness, can not be relished by someone whose love is bereft of eagerness and anxiety. In the same way it is understood that the Sri Yugala Kisora, whose hearts are as soft as butter, are Themselves tolerating the anguish of separation from the devotee and make the devotee suffer the anguish of his separation from Them.