Krishnakant BTP editor,
IRM BACK TO PRABHUPADA
unserem Artikel über Satsvarupa das (BTP 4) fassten wir zusammen,
dass der großangelegte ISKCON Guru Schwindel für beide, den
Guru und die bemitleidenswerten Schüler vernichtend ist, da
sie ihr ganzes Leben damit vergeuden eine bedingte Seele zu
verehren, anstatt den echten selbstverwirklichten Acarya,
Wie wir wissen ist Prithu
Das - einer von ISKCONs achtzig durch Stimmzettel ins Amt gehobenen Guru Schwindlern
- zurückgetreten in dem er aufhorchen ließ: "Ich
konnte für eine gute Zeit unsere spirituelle Prinzipien nicht mehr befolgen."
(Abdankungsbrief, Prithu Das)
Srila Prabhupada ist jemand der die regulierende Prinzipien
des spirituellen Lebens nicht einzuhalten vermag nicht einmal
auf menschlichem Niveau anzusiedeln:
menschliche Leben ist für regulierende Prinzipien bestimmt.
Daher bestehen wir darauf dass unsere Studenten regulierende
Prinzipien einhalten um so ein wirklich menschliches Leben
zu erlangen. Keine regulierende Prinzipien bedeutet tierisches
(Srila Prabhupada, Room Conversation, 11.Juni 1974)
die Tatsache dass jemand sich jahrelang als Saksad-hari, so
gut wie Gott, in dem Glauben verehren lässt, dass
er noch nicht einmal auf der menschlichen Plattform handelt,
sagt bereits alles über die verkommene Heuchelei des
auf Irrwegen gelandeten Guru-Systems der ISKCON.
auch augenscheinlich, dass für Prithu die Beichte seines
unter menschlichen Niveau liegenden Status ob dennoch
sich als aktuelle Verbindung zu einer unfehlbaren Nachfolge
von Mahabhagavatas (höchstrangige Geweihte) zu positionieren
- auf keine Weise in der Absicht begründet war, seinen
Schülern zu deren Vorteil die Wahrheit zu sagen.
Betrüger / Guru-Schwindler
weiter in seinem Brief zum Besten gibt:
durchlief eine Phase massiver Depressionen und mein Gemütszustand
war und ist eigentlich noch immer ein Alptraum intensiver
Traurigkeit, völliger Hoffungslosigkeit verbunden mit
Gefühlen des Alleinseins und der Hilflosigkeit. (
Um meine Situation zu verbessern ist es für mich klar,
dass ich zuerst einmal zu mir selbst ehrlich sein muss und
überhaupt zu euch allen.
Des weiteren muss ich meinen Dienst als initiierender Guru
aufkündigen und die Führung meiner Schüler
in dieser Funktion beenden.
(Abdankungsbrief Prithu Das)
so wie Satsvarupa seine unerlaubte Affäre erst dann eingestand
nachdem er im Internet überführt worden war, genauso
ist Prithu nur deshalb zurückgetreten weil er sich zutiefst
unglücklich fühlte. Es ist mir eigentlich
völlig egal wo meine Schüler in ihrem nächsten
Leben landen, ( siehe BTP 6 auf Seite 10, Bestimmungsorte
falscher gurus und deren Schüler) - Prithus Hauptanliegen
bestand einfach nur darin sich selbst eine angenehmere
Nische zu beschaffen, damit er sich nicht mehr so hundselend
Betrüger / Guru-Schwindler
Prithu also - genauso wie vielen anderen Guru Schwindlern
auf keine Weise in den Sinn zu kommen, was für einen
gewaltigen Schaden sie bei den in die Irre geführten
Opfern verursacht haben.
Man wundert sich vielmehr was das für feine Herrschaften
sind die ohne jegliche Gewissensbisse jahrelang andere mit
solcher Entschlossenheit und Nachdrücklichkeit betrügen
ohne dabei an etwas anderes als an ihr eigenes persönliches
Wohlbefinden zu denken.
einen kleinen Hinweis über dieses Prachtexemplar von
einem Menschen von jemanden der ihn wohl kaum besser kannte
- seine ehrenwerte Frau Gemahlin, Rambhoru Devi Dasi. (Man
sollte bei Folgendem verstehen, dass das Leben in einem indischen
Ashram für Menschen aus dem Westen von vornherein mit
großen Entbehrungen verbunden ist.)
zahlreichen Zwischenfällen wurde ich mit unserem jüngsten
Sohn von ansässigen Brijbasis in Vrindavan belästigt
und tätlich angegriffen als wir allein und ohne einen
beschützenden Ehemann unterwegs waren. Mein Ehemann wusste
all dies aber er hat sich nie darum gekümmert uns vor
diesen Gefahren zu beschützen, indem er bei uns anwesend
gewesen wäre. Er trachtete immer nur nach einem komfortablen
Leben auf dem Tempel Anwesen. (
) Des öfteren bat
er mich wie eine richtige vedische Frau, ihn mit
einem Pfauenfächer Luft zu zufächeln und ihm anspruchsvolle
Arotik darzubringen. Wenn ich mich dann weigerte verhielt
er sich so als hätte ich ein schweres Vergehen begannen.
Als ich nach Vrindavan zurück kam musste ich feststellen
dass mein Mann unseren Sohn, Nila, seinen Schülern in
Obhut gegeben hatte und diesen aufgetragen hatte ihn zu schlagen
und in ein Zimmer einzusperren, sollte er nicht gehorchen.
Sie taten dies einige Male. Bevor Nila das letzte Mal von
der Gurukula wegrannte - Prithu selbst hatte sich gewalttätig
an ihm vergriffen und zurück in die Schule geschickt,
fühlte er sich zutiefst von seinem eigenen Vater im Stich
gelassen und ungeliebt. (
) Für viele Jahre wurden
wir von der ISKCON nicht versorgt während mein Ehemann
alles bekam. Seine Schüler bezahlten die Flugtickets
über die ganze Welt, er schlief in den feinsten Unterkünften,
konnte sich sein Essen immer aussuchen, verbrachte Monate
und Monate in den besten Erholungsorten der Welt um sich von
Krankheiten zu erholen, gab über 10,000 Dollar
aus um sich Goldzähne machen zu lassen oder verweilte
einfach irgendwo um angeblich ein Buch zu schreiben welches
nach 12 Jahren immer noch nicht fertig ist.
(Brief von Rambhoru Devi Dasi, Frau von Prithu)
hat keinen dieser speziellen Vorwürfe in seinem Antwortschreiben
zu diesem Brief bestritten, sondern vielmehr zugegeben, dass
er sich nachlässig und verwerflich benommen habe und
so können wir annehmen dass Rambhoru Devi Dasi mit der
Wahrheit ins Schwarze getroffen hatte.
erscheinen dass die unautorisierte Verehrung eine bedingte
Seele dermaßen im Geiste verwirrt, dass daraus eine
potentielle Gefahr für jeden im gesamten Umfeld entsteht.
Prithu hat Srila Prabhupda verwerflich behandelt indem er
ihm seine rechtmäßigen Schüler weg nahm.
Er hat ferner seine Schüler verwerflich behandelt indem
er sie von der Verehrung die ausschließlich für
Srila Prabhupada bestimmt ist, abgelenkt hat.
Er hat ferner seine eigene Frau und Kinder verwerflich behandelt
und verabsäumt sie zu beschützen und sie stattdessen
Gefahren ausgesetzt und nach Aussagen seiner Frau hat er sich
selbst auch verwerflich behandelt. Was für ein Alptraum.
Nachdem all dies veröffentlicht worden war, hätte
man nun eigentlich annehmen können Prithu sei etwas gescheiter,
PRABHUPADA Herausgeber, Sudama Das hat ihm kürzlich per
E-Mail folgende Frage gestellt:
Was hältst du von der Idee dem IRM beizutreten
und uns dabei zu helfen Srila Prabhupada wieder als den Diksa-Guru
für ISKCON zurück zu platzieren, anstatt damit fortzufahren
deine Gottbrüder eine Lüge leben zu lassen?"
"Gut gemeint, Sudama, ich mag euch
wirklich von ganzen Herzen gern, aber von diesem Konzept bin
ich einfach nicht überzeugt.
Auch unterstütze ich nicht mehr dass man ein so hohes
Profil einnimmt wie Srila Prabhupada und halte jetzt alles
einfach. Sehr einfach.
Dass jedoch die Schüler von Srila Prabhupada nicht einweihen
sollten (vorausgesetzt sie haben die Qualifikation) kann ich
nicht glauben und so denke ich dass wir uns da nicht einigen
Unsinns Guru nun «einfache» oder anspruchsvolle
Verehrung verlangt ist natürlich irrelevant.
Er sollte aufgrund von Srila Prabhupada überhaupt keine
So ist es wohl eindeutig dass Prithu überhaupt nichts
gelernt hat und glücklich und zufrieden für die
nächste Zukunft den großangelegten Guru Schwindel
weiterhin lauthals verkünden wird. Auf diese Weise wird
er sicherstellen, dass der spirituelle Missbrauch an ahnungslosen
Menschen unvermindert weiter geht.
Forwarded by the GBC EC
Posted October 19, 2004
accept our most humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
informing you, as the below posted letter indicates, that
HG Prithu Prabhu wishes to resign from his services, both
as member of the Governing Body of ISKCON and as an initiating
spiritual master. Therefore the GBC are making arrangements
to help all those affected by his resignation, and we thank
him for all his service and look forward to his continuing
to serve in whatever capacity he can in the future. We also
wish him the best regarding his health and welfare.
this meets you in the best of health.
the GBC EC
Swami, Bir Krishna Dasa Goswami, Devamrita Swami, Praghosa
Dasa, Radha Krishna Dasa
Prithu Prabhu's Letter of Resignation
in the ISKCON family and outside,
accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
to inform you of my present situation.
Betrüger / Guru-Schwindler
been suffering from some very serious health problems for
the last few months. I have been going through a period of
massive depressions, and my experience has been, and at times
still is, a nightmare of intense unhappiness, utter hopelessness,
coupled with feelings of abandonment and helplessness.
difficulties may have possibly been exaggerated by both my
hepatitis C condition as well as a recent severe fasting regime.
is an underlying spiritual cause to all of this, and I owe
it to you to disclose it: I have been failing to follow our
spiritual principles for a good while. The present intense
bout of depressions are actually the deserved reaction for
not practicing what I have been preaching, keeping the other
very dark side of myself to myself and locked away from my
family, my dear disciples, and the rest of the world.
to get to a better place it is clear that I need first of
all to be honest with myself and with all of you. Further,
I need to resign from my service of initiating guru and discontinue
guiding my disciples in that capacity. Last, but not least,
I wish to resign from my position as member of the Governing
Body of ISKCON.
is no question in my mind as to my ongoing dedication to Srila
Prabhupada and his movement. What exact form that service
might take is not clear to me as yet, and I would appreciate
I am sorry
and apologize to you for being a disappointment. Let me ask
for forgiveness for offences I have committed over the years
to many of you.
that you be kind to this poor soul, pray for me, and give
me your support at this trying time.
goes out to my beloved disciples, who have been wonderful
friends to me all these years, a great source of happiness
and support, especially in the last very trying days. May
Sri Krishna bless them more and more and be able to drag me
home, back to Godhead.
you for listening to my story— the story of one who went out
to save the world while being on the inside a deeply troubled,
helpless, and unhappy soul.
October 19, 2004
Letter from Rambhoru to GBC about Prithu
Betrüger / Guru-Schwindler
Posted November 25, 2004
Dear GBC members, Godbrothers and Godsisters,
Please accept my most humble obeisances. All
glories to Srila Prabhupada.
It is not my desire to challenge my good husband,
yet in light of the recent events surrounding him, I would
like for you to please hear my story. There are many devotees
who are still present in this movement who can verify my claims
Typical of the way many ISKCON marriages were arranged in
the 70's without couples ever having spoken with one another,
Prithu prabhu's and my marriage (1976) was made following
an instruction from our local GBC representative. As was also
typical of ISKCON members during that era, we followed diligently
all instructions coming down to us through the parampara system,
via our local authorities.
For the duration of our marriage of 30 years, I never shared
any kind of private living or sleeping facility with my husband,
as he expressed his inability to preach Krishna Consciousness
and participate in family life at the same time. Endeavoring
to be a faithful wife I followed him in his lifestyle of choice,
although admittedly, it was often, difficult to do so.
Before we had children, I lived in the brahmacarini ashram,
engaging in temple worship while my husband distributed Srila
Prabhupada's books full time. I saw him briefly every week
or two on weekends, and then only to pick up his dirty laundry
and deliver it a day later, washed and pressed. We never engaged
in friendly conversation with each other as my husband viewed
it to be a frivolous time-wasting exercise.
When my husband decided "I" needed to have a child, he insisted
I continue to live in the temple rather than secure a home
where together we could prepare to welcome our first child
into the world. Hence, although we performed the garbhadhana
samskara by chanting 50 rounds, the fact that he never provided
a home for our child sent a clear message to me that he viewed
him as "unwanted."
Once our first child, Madan Mohan, was conceived, our lives
virtually continued as before. I lived in the brahmacarini
ashram; my husband continued distributing books. I remember
how painfully insecure, helpless and humiliated I felt, living
among temple residents, many of whom found householderlife
repulsive. For example, in order to prevent my crawling son
from going into any room but his own, devotees put 2-foot
high boards in the thresholds of their doors. When he found
a way to crawl over it, several devotees lifted him up, holding
his entire body-weight by the fist-full of cloth they could
grab at the back of his neck, and literally throw him out
of the room. Instead of being joyful over my pregnancy, I
felt I was being shunned although I had followed Srila Prabhupada's
instructions. Meanwhile, instead of supporting me, my husband
avoided being seen with me together due to his embarrassment
over our being married. By this time, my rational mind began
seriously questioning how it could be pleasing to Krishna
that a husband continued to perform sankirtan while his family
was left uncared for. My husband rationalized in response
to my request to move outside, "What is the use of enjoying
mundane family life, if it meant not going back to Godhead
at the end of our lives?" I wanted to leave the temple to
find peace for my child, but I had no means to go. Had I been
able to, the fact that my husband always kept my American
passport in his possession meant I could never leave German
without his permission.
After giving birth to my eldest son, I returned to a life
of isolation in the temple's small attic room; far enough
away so no one could see me or hear the cries of my child;
except when I descended to attend temple programs. This was
In 1979, I began preaching with my husband in Ireland. When
I say "preaching" I mean, I did all the temple cooking, cleaning,
shopping and organizing for the community, meanwhile having
the added responsibility of minding my child, now crawling
around at my feet or sleeping on the bhoga in the kitchen
pantry. For this reason, I rarely attended lectures or other
temple programs. I was taught that the Vedic way of salvation
for a woman was by assisting her husband in his preaching.
In good faith, I did my duty.
My husband was always the temple leader wherever we went,
so I remained his shadow "cleaning lady" often finding myself
unsupported and alone in the kitchen washing pots and floors
while he slept or relaxed with a group of "select" devotees.
For the next 10 years, our lives continued in much the same
way. Eventually, we found ourselves on opposite ends of the
preaching front; my husband, now enjoying life in the "Bell
Tower" of ISKCON's leadership while I continued my scramble
for survival among the grassroots.
By 1986, I had a second child, Nila Madhava, who was conceived
the same way as Madan Mohan. My husband and I still maintained
separate living facilities within the temple. Now, I lived
together with both my children; one 9 years old, the other
still an infant in a 15' X 15' foot room next to the brahmacarini
ashram, sharing a bathroom with 12 other women. Meanwhile,
my husband lived on the opposite side of the Inish Rath Manor
in a room 4 times its size with an attached bathroom and office
he never had to share. When I expressed my need to have more
facility to raise my children in, my husband insisted that
it would make the other devotees envious should he provide
his wife with any comfort in their midst. He repeatedly used
his "preaching profile" as an alibi for his neglect of his
family. I continued to follow for several reasons:
- I was living on an island in the middle of the North Sea
with an infant;
- I had grown to doubt my own intelligence because I genuinely
thought I was anyway just a stupid woman, whose only business
was to disturb her husband's service to Krishna;
- I wanted to associate with devotees and knew if I caused
too much commotion, I would be labeled " Maya Devi" and
shunned by Prithu's followers;
- the thought of becoming a single parent with 2 children
was horrifying and I didn't think I could cope, having been
trained only in temple living;
- I had no marketable skills, nor any knowledge of how to
live in the "material" world.
My only solace was knowing that everything
was Krishna's mercy and that He knew how much I suffered and
how much I tried to please.
By now, as well as being responsible for the deity and devotee
cooking, I was instructed to go on the altar and dress the
temple's 3 sets of deities, mind my 2 month old son (still
in diapers) and educate my 9 year old son, materially and
spiritually. My husband took no part in helping me do this.
Instead, he often interrupted my attempts by instructing me
to go whimsically in the kitchen and cook pancakes for "his
guys" while our children were left unattended. One time while
I was thus cooking, my youngest son who was 2 years old, fell
from a steep staircase onto the concrete floor below, cracking
his head and causing him to be hospitalized for a week. Naturally,
my children would run freely around the temple as they saw
it as their home as well as the other devotees. This was often
annoying to the celibate students who, on several occasions
physically or verbally abused them.
When my oldest son became old enough to realize he had a
father, he often appeared at his door. Immediately, my husband
would look at his watch and scuttle him away, saying he was
taking precious time away from his preaching. Madan Mohan,
yearned to have the companionship of his father, and often
begged him for some private, personal time. However, my husband
never allowed him any entry into his life as a parent. In
due course of time, my children and I became absorbed into
the temple structure; only allowed to take Prithu's "darshan"
in public places.
You will remember, I'm sure, the "revolution" in Ireland that
went on in Ireland in the late 1980's, when Prithu prabhu was asked to leave
and take his disciples with him. During that time, I was left in Ireland alone
with my 2 children, with no money or place to go, while "rebel" leaders and my
husband hashed things over in India during the Mayapur GBC meetings. Several devotees
who remained on the island took this opportunity to unleash their hatred for my
husband by verbally abusing and beating both of my children; my youngest, then
under 2 years old. In the aftermath of this controversy when only my husbands'
10 disciples remained, I was left alone with my children to do a full-scale Radha-Krishna
worship and manage the temple, while they all were sent out on book distribution.
While offering my obeisances after putting Their Lordships to rest at 9:30pm,
I often would fall asleep in that position and wake up a couple of hours later
to find it was now midnight. I started to resent having to do all the deity worship
along with my other duties and realized there must be something seriously wrong
with the way I performed "devotional service." If devotional service was joyfully
performed, why was I feeling so much hatred? I was profoundly overworked. I approached
Prithu prabhu on this issue several times, and he always said there was no one
else to do it. Later, I witness him personally pacifying some disciples who no
longer wanted to do their services as they had to go on sankirtan, say, "Don't
worry, my wife will do it for you." When I complained that I was being exploited,
he laughed in my face saying I was doing a PR job on him so I wouldn't have to
By 1990 we had relocated to Vrindavan where the GBC suggested
Prithu resettle with his disciples in order to figure out
what Krishna wanted them to do next. Again, Prithu chose to
live strictly with his disciples in the temple's bramacari
ashram, while I had to live in various non-ISKCON facilities.
Many of these places were not only unsafe to sleep in but
a dangerous walk away from the ISKCON temple, especially with
small children. This meant I generally was unable to attend
morning programs before sunrise or after sundown. On numerous
occasions, my youngest son, now 4, and I were stalked and
attacked by local Brijbasis, while we traveled alone without
the protection of a husband. My husband knew this, but he
never attempted to protect us from these dangers by staying
with us. He remained comfortably living in the temple compound.
Betrüger / Guru-Schwindler
Eventually, Prithu's disciples decided to collect money to
buy an ashram facility near Krishna Balaram where I was "allowed"
to stay while they traveled and preached in India. Being in
India, more-than-ever, I felt pressured to cut the much romanticized
profile of being the self-sacrificing Vedic Woman, happily
scurrying around taking care of the needs of everyone except
her own. Any Vaishnava Indian woman will tell you that their
lives are not how it appears to be from the western male's
perspective. She cooks. She minds her children. She cares
for the family's elders. Even the poorest woman hires someone
to wash dishes and laundry. She works closely with her husband
sharing responsibility for the family business, which in our
case was spreading the sankirtan mission. Somehow, my husband
had the notion that his "real" family members were those he
brought to the movement, instead of the ones he brought into
the world. He often told me that he was married to ISKCON,
and not to me. All of his energy went into his "spiritual
sons" instead of his children.
I was taught it was unnatural for a woman to preach herself
but that she should rather assist her husband's preaching
by being his menial servant. On several occasions my husband
expressed his desire for me to fan him with a peacock fan
and offer him arotik like a "real" Vedic woman should. When
I refused to do this, he would become insulted.
I dropped out of college in 1976 because I recognized Lord
Chaitanya's message as the perfection of Christianity. I feel
cheated that I was not given more encouragement to follow
my hearts inclination to preach Krishna Consciousness directly
and rather instructed to fulfill some Hindu dharma. That is
not to say that I do not feel blessed to have given birth
to 2 very special children. It is just to make a statement
on behalf of the need for the young mothers in our movement
to be given the facility and encouragement to cultivate their
philosophical sense along with their mothering. Many women
who are attracted to our philosophy find it inconsistent that
we offer lip service in regards to being spirit souls who
are off the bodily platform, yet, many of our male members
continue to exhibit averse and disrespectful attitudes and
behavior towards women. This sends any intelligent woman away
disappointed, meanwhile still hankering for the true religion.
When my youngest son entered the Vrindavan Gurukula (1991),
I began assisting some of the teachers there as I saw much
there to improve in order to make the school pleasing to Srila
Prabhupada. My husband was very unhappy for me to spend time
there and discouraged me from doing anything unrelated to
his preaching. Even though he and his "boys" were absent for
months at a time, while I stayed alone in the Ashram, he still
did not want me using my energy anywhere else. As women were
not allowed to go on the altar or cook for the deities in
the Krishna-Balaram Mandir, there was virtually no service
I could offer directly to Srila Prabhupada's mission in Vrindavan.
I felt useless, discarded and unwanted. Praying at the feet
of Sri Sri Gaura Nitai, I asked if, in spite of the fact that
I was unwanted by my husband, there still might be something
more I could do to serve the sankirtan mission. After petitioning
the deities in this way, I had a dream that clearly revealed
Prabhupada calling me to take care of his personal body in
the form of ISKCON by assisting Lord Nityananda in caring
for the householder community. Very soon, I was invited by
some of Niranjana Swami's disciples to travel and preach in
the Former Soviet Union, which I began to do for 2-3 months
out of each year. My main service was counseling confused
and disheartened grihasthas trying like me to figure out how
to participate in Lord Chaitanya's movement and meanwhile
remain sensitive and responsible parents and spouses.
When it came to my attention that my youngest son, now 10
years old, was repeatedly running away from the Vrindavan
Gurukula, and that his ashram teacher had run away and gotten
killed (killed himself by a drug overdose?) in Thailand, I
realized the hypocrisy of my preaching to other householders
to be responsible and take care of their children, when my
own children were in trouble. I returned to Vrindavan to discover
my son, Nila, living in the so-called care of my husband's
disciples who had been instructed to beat and lock him in
a room, should he not comply with their instructions. They
did this several times. Before Nila ran away from the gurukula
for the last time, Prithu had personally beaten him and sent
him back to school, feeling betrayed and unloved by his father.
The previous year, my eldest son, aged 17, had been given
permission by Prithu prabhu to travel to Rajasthan with a
crazy brahmacari to go treasure-hunting, when they got arrested
by Indian police and put in jail for 3 days. As a result,
Madan Mohan had to flee India because the bramacari failed
to show for their trial, leaving Madan Mohan and another gurukuli
to fend for themselves against the Indian government. To this
day, Madan Mohan still risks being locked up by the Indian
police should he ever enter India. He has taken shelter in
the New Dvarka community ever since.
I stopped traveling and preaching in Russia and remained
in the Prabhupada Vani Ashram with my youngest son, while
he attended the Porter Burchard Methodist School in Vrindavan.
After an incident where he, Nila Madhava , was beaten to unconsciousness
by some of his classmates with bricks, I organized for both
of us to move to Mayapur where he could attend the Gurukula
there. We did not have the money to live in the grhastha sector
of Mayapur Dham and attend their day school, so I put him
in the boys ashram and became a teacher for the school which
offered me a room and a salary of RS 1500 (now aprox. $35.00)
During the 2 years I taught there, I lived alone in a neighboring
apartment while my son lived in the ashram. I only saw my
husband for 5 days out of every year, and then only because
he anyway had to come to the yearly GBC meetings in Mayapur.
Every so often, he would call to say he would be sending some
money. On every phone call, I expressed that my son and I
were very unhappy in this situation and that were he to continue
to neglect our family, we were going to stop waiting for him
and situate ourselves in a more secure and healthy environment.
He blamed me for my lack of surrender saying that my children
would simply adopt whatever attitude I took, and so if I would
just happily do my service, they would not feel any lack in
In response to my requests that he spend some time with
my youngest son, he promised to take us on a trip to Jaganath
Puri for a week without having to be lumped together with
his disciples. By the time we left for the trip from Mayapur,
he had invited 20 disciples to accompany him on this trip.
He decided to share a room with us for the first time in our
lives, but as the room only had one large double bed which
he did not want to share, my son and I slept (slept?) on the
floor next to the bed on a single dirty saree. When all the
devotees shared their meals from the Jaganath temple, neither
my son nor myself were allowed by Prithu to speak to him nor
his disciples while we were in their company. As soon as I
would open my mouth, he would wave for me to be silent. This
insulted me to the core.
The more I examined my situation, studied Prabhupada's books
and prayed to Lord Chaitanya, the more I began to understand
that I could no longer follow my husband's instructions. My
duty to my husband as the mother of his children was to take
care of their health and education, first and foremost. Somehow,
Prithu never understood that, and rather wanted me to serve
him and his mission and neglect his children. I knew I had
to make a change towards recovering my children's and my own
life, but I had no money or means to do it.
As a teacher at the Mayapur Gurukula, I could see that none
of the children were receiving an education that would equip
them for living in the world in the 20th Century and realized
that if my son was going to live and work in the west, in
all fairness to him, he would have to be educated in the west,
In June of 1999, I took a trip to the USA to renew my visa,
deciding that if I could find an ISKCON community where I could give my son appropriate
education, I would not return to India. Although the Hillsborough Community would
not accommodate me, Urmila Dasi agreed to give Nila Madhava room and board in
exchange for payment during the week while he attended her school. I would take
him on the week end. Having no money and no place to stay myself, I lived in a
borrowed car for a couple of weeks, parked alongside Hillsborough country roads
until my father suggested I return to Guilford College where I began my Bachelor's
degree in Religion (1974) and see if I could finish it while Nila was at Urmila's
gurukula. Guilford is located 45 minutes from the Hillsborough community. Happily,
all my professors, who had worked with me in the 70's were still there. One professor,
in whose home I had rented a room as a student 25 years earlier, offered me a
place to stay and found me a job washing dishes in the back of a Vegan restaurant
near the campus. I lived there during the week and picked Nila Madhava up on the
weekends, bringing him back to my room, still no larger than the one I had had
in ISKCON; 15' X 15' feet. I shared a bathroom and kitchen with the rest of the
family. On many weekends, due to cold, rainy or snowy weather, Nila and I sat
in that room for the entire 2 days waiting to return to Urmila's school. We had
no money to go anywhere else. Urmila found that my son, although an 8th grader,
only had learned to read in our Indian gurukula's to 5th grade level. By the time
we left her school in 2001, Urmila had increased his reading capacity to that
of a 9th grader, which prepared him to enter the public school system. While at
her school, however, my son received serious emotional
abuse from Urmila's son-in-law who criticized his family members, tortured
him about his weight problem and forbid him to speak during meals while he dominated
the conversation. Meanwhile, my son and 3 other live-in students personally witnessed
him giving his 2-year old daughter freezing cold showers as punishment for her
not submitting to his demands.
I probably never would have returned to college, had I not
have seen it as a means of bringing my family back together.
It provided me a way to fund ourselves through scholarships
and loans; biding us time until we could learn some marketable
During the course of my stay in Greensboro, North Carolina,
I began to reconnect with my eldest son, Madan Mohan by weekly
phone calls which revealed the deep unhappiness each of us
felt over having not shared with each other more of our lives.
Madan Mohan had been living in Los Angeles since 1994 while
Nila and I were living in India. Neither of my sons knew their
brothers. When I graduated from Guilford, we decided that
we should reunite what was left of our family. Hence, I applied
to and was accepted into the Claremont Theological Seminary
in California. In this way, I could continue to cultivate
my interest in preaching and also be a concerned and responsible
parent. Prithu had always told me it was not possible to preach
and have a family at the same time. I was so determined to
refute this notion of his that I did my senior thesis project
researching married preachers who had made major contributions
establishing religious movements while remaining faithful
and responsible to their spouses and children. I found zillions
of examples in history of men and women who preached strongly
the path of love for God while doing their householder duties.
By this time, Madan Mohan had completed writing his Burnt
Laddhu theater production and began showing it in various
ISKCON temples around the world. If you have seen this production,
it will give you a window into some of the pain he has experienced
growing up as a "Preachers' Kid".
In spite of all the austerities my family and I have undergone,
the one redeeming thought that has kept us alive throughout all of these years
is that Prithu prabhu was out there spreading Lord Chaitanya's mission and that
we were somehow getting some spiritual benefit from all our sacrifices. Now, however,
to learn that all along he has been breaking the regulative principles has shattered
our lives. Not because he has so-called "fallen down". In Kali Yuga, even
the most saintly persons take their falls. None of us are perfect. However, knowing
that as his family, we have been left entirely out of the equation, not only from
Prithu prabhu's point of view, but from the viewpoint of his disciples and the
GBC body, has disappointed me deeply. In all these years of service, I have never
once been asked by GBC members my opinion regarding Prithu's behavior on any issue,
or if I needed help; even in this one. Many senior devotees who knew well our
lifestyle encouraged me to file for a divorce so at least I would qualify for
financial aid from the government. But, I never did this due to the respect I
had for his position and for Srila Prabhupada. I did not want to jeopardize Prithu's
service by shedding bad light on his family life.
It is very hurtful that, even in this current crisis that
GBC leaders were first and foremost concerned with Prithu's
disciples and Prithu himself, meanwhile, no one was considerate
enough even to email us or call us on the telephone. Do we
ever count as having any significance in Prithu's life? Does
the pain and suffering we have endured amount to anything
at within the Vaishnava community?
Although it is certainly honorable and commendable Prithu
has "come out of the closet" even if so late in life, it certainly
does not free my memory of the pain I have suffered over the
past 30 years. Nor does it repay all the financial debts I
have incurred trying to put our family's life in order after
years of taking out college loans and borrowing money to survive.
For years, we have been unsupported by ISKCON while my husband
has gotten virtually a free ride. His disciples have paid
his air fare to places around the globe. He has slept in the
best of facilities; eaten his choice of foodstuffs; spent
months and months in some of the best vacation spots around
the world recuperating from diseases, spending over $10,000
getting his teeth fixed or hiding out somewhere writing a
book that mysteriously since 12 years never gets finished.
Once I asked Prithu to please give me his rough draft so I
could help him put it into some legible form. He said that
there was nothing coherent that he could give me.
Is a mere apology really enough to compensate for the lives
that have been hurt? At the very least, Prithu prabhu needs
now, more than ever, to take an active role in offering concrete
support to his family by clearing them of all of their financial
debts so they can at least have the time-freedom to recover
their spiritual equilibrium. It is not appropriate for ISKCON
to simply nod their head like the Catholic Church does and
say, "your sins are forgiven".
Prithu and I both desire to settle our karmic accounts with
each other so that we may both sit down peacefully, chant
Hare Krishna and leave our bodies. My worry is that, if Prithu
does not undergo some kind of practical atonement for his
offenses, he is going to have to take birth againÉnext time
in the body of a woman, married to a man who neglects him
the same way that he has neglected his family. This is the
price we all have to pay for not being respectful or compassionate
to people we offend. I, on the other hand, may have to take
birth as a manÉmaybe his husband, to personally mete out his
punishment as the neglectful husband who has not been respectful
or compassionate to their wife. This is what happens if one
is unable to reconcile their resentment for someone who has
offended them in this life. Neither of us wishes to repeat
this scenario. Never.
Having consulted counseling professionals regarding the
unstable psychological condition Prithus prabhu exhibits,
I found the general opinion to be that such persons must lead
a stable and regulated life performing some kind of practical
work. We all know that doing something on a regular basis
is the power behind devotional service. I personally feel
that, more than ever, Prithu prabhu needs to do some kind
of practical work that will raise him out of his depression
and stabilize his consciousness. I also feel that I will never
be able to reconcile the suffering I have undergone in his
service unless he can, at least make an attempt to practically
support his family financially. Even if he can only do some
simple work for an hourly wage and send it to his family,
that would be greatly appreciated. By this I do not mean begging
from his disciples for the money. I mean precisely performing
some kind of honest labor by his own hands and getting paid
for it with the specific intention of sending it to his family
as symbolic retribution.
Furthermore, after laboring at college for, going on 6 years,
I finally have connected with scholars who are strategically linked to important
theological circles. They are open to understanding the path of Bhakti as presented
by Srila Prabhupada and are happy to hear it from one of their doctoral students.
However, it is almost impossible for me to continue to preach scholastically in
such circles, while having to work at a juvenile prison 40 hours per week, which
is currently how I make money. I seriously feel that having been neglected all
these years, thinking I was supporting my husband's preaching while he was
sexually abusing himself, warrants him now to switch roles with me and support
my preaching financially. In this way, before leaving his body, he will have the
opportunity to clear his debt to me, and allow me the satisfaction of, in this
way, letting go of the deep resentment I feel towards him, and thus truly be able
to forgive him. Thank you for listening to my story.
Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,
Rambhoru Devi Dasi
True Colors Finally Revealed - he rejects Srila Prabhupada
and his Ritvik order